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http://iservice.libertytimes.com.tw/Upload/liveNews/phpUrrydG.jpg
看到今天的中國時報頭版,在下開始了陷入夢幻之中
夢見有人在隔空跟蔡大老闆隔空抬槓
下面是某人的抬槓文:

話說蔡大老闆您又像在下被支那政府通緝隨時身家不保.
又不像在下因為專跟支那國民黨作對,專們揭支那國民黨的走狗瘡疤,搞得國民黨恨不得喝我血吃我肉,挫我骨揚其灰
又不像在下跟是靠軍火販售運輸相關產業起家
國防工業又跟您無緣?
您又有什麼資產見不得光,得跟在下這個當初被國民黨政府與支那政府聯手追殺的低賤小小軍火商一樣,非得要將資金透過開曼群島在匯來台灣?

在下還在跟支那政府與國民黨做對時,您就跑去當支那討生活.
國民黨通緝在下時,您在支那已經小有聲有色.

難不成這些錢來的跟在下一樣有些不乾淨?
還是這些錢是支那政府透過閣下轉投資?
話說ICIJ的帳冊有些來原好像是來自某些支那中央秘密境外公司,而這些錢就被閣下拿來收購建立台灣忘忘.

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: 本人在此特地聲明：
I, _______, declares to whom may concern:

: 本人樂觀開朗，身體健康，
: 無任何使我困擾之慢性病或心理疾病，
: 故絕不可能做出任何看似自殺之行為。

I am optimistic with healthy fitness,
without any illness or disease confuse me,
so I will NOT do any thing connected to suicide by any means.

: 本人從無睡眠困擾，故不需服用安眠藥。

I do NOT have medical issues with sleeping,
so I do NOT need to take any medicals about it.

: 本人不酗酒亦不吸毒，也絕不會特意單獨或/及與親友接近下列地點──
I am NOT an alcoholic nor having drug addiction,
neither visit the following places alone and / or with relatives or friends:

: 1. 開放性水域
1. Open water area

: 2. 無救生員之游泳池
2. Pool without watcher

: 3. 有高壓、危險氣體，或密閉式未經抽氣處理之地下室、蓄水池、水桶等
3. Closed place like not ventilated tank, pool, cellar with hazardous gas
(i.e. high pressure gas, explosive gas, toxic gas, etc.)

: 4. 無安全護欄之任何高處
4. Any place without safe barriers from falling

: 5. 任何施工地點（拆政府除外），包括製作消波塊之工地
5. Any building spot (well, except the deconstruction place for governmental buildings),
including spots to making concretes.

: 6. 任何以上未提及但為一般人正常不會前往之地點
6. Any place does not mentioned above, where no common people might visit.

: 本人恪遵下列事項──
I strictly follow the under rules:

: 1. 車輛上路前會檢查煞車部件、油門線等，
: 　 並會在加油前關閉車輛電源與行動電話。
1. I check my brakes and parts before driving,
   and turn off my mobile and the power of my vehicle.

: 2. 絕不擅搶黃燈、闖紅燈。
2. I do not rush in traffic lights.

: 3. 乘坐任何軌道類交通工具一定退到警戒線後一步以上，直到車輛載具停妥。 (含船、飛機等)
3. I keep the distance for more than one step from the security line
   while taking any vehicle or transportation if they have, until they are
   fully parked and ready to aboard.

: 4. 騎乘機車必戴安全帽；乘車必繫安全帶。
4. I wear helmet with scooters or motorbike properly.
   I wield safety belt while driving or being a passenger.

: 5. 絕不接近任何會放射對人體有立即危害的輻射之場所（如核電廠）或設備。
5. I will NOT close any harmful radiative place (like nuclear plant) or equipments.

: 6. 颱風天不登山、不觀浪、或接近其它危險場所。
6. I will NOT go hiking, wave seeing, or visit any dangerous places.

: 本人將盡可能注意電器、瓦斯、火源之使用。
: 本人居住之房屋均使用符合法規之電路電線，絕無電線走火之可能；
: 也絕未在家中放置過量可燃性氣體或液體。
I try my best to watch over the usage of appliance, gasoline and fire.
My place uses legally certificated safe electricity equipments,
thus the possibility of having accidents in fire IS insignificant.
In addition to this, I never have illegal amount of flammable gas or liquid.
 
: 浴室中除該有之照明外，不放置任何電器用品，
: 並在睡覺前關閉除電燈、冰箱、電扇外之所有電器開關。
I do not have any appliance despite of necessary lighting,
and turn off all switches despite of lights, refrigerators or fans.

: 本人絕不會與隨機的不明人士起衝突，並盡可能保護自我人身安全。
I do not having conflicts with strangers, and put my personal security as highest priority.

: 所以若網友在看完此聲明之後，
: 近期或將來發現此帳號不再上線，
(現行法規的失蹤定義，是24小時還是72小時啊?)
: 請幫我討回公道，謝謝。
Hereby I authorize any of you who viewed this statement to have rights to announcing charges
or calling police, once this account does not login for days (legal definition of missing: 24 hours?)

Maha namaste. In Lak'ech.

: ───────────────────────────────────────
: 以上聲明，倘有不足或不妥之處，尚請鄉民補充與指教。
: 備註：
Notes:

: 1.該聲明無法確實保障人身安全
: 2.該聲明無法避免確定的殺身之禍
: 3.請隨時注意自身安全，鄉民無法保護您
1.The statement CANNOT guarantee your safety.
2.The statement CANNOT avoid incoming life threats.
3.You are your best bodyguard, no one could 100% protect you at any time.
  Keep your senses opened.


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※ 作者: EVA815024 時間: 2014-01-24 10:48:51