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作者: fishyfish (fishyfish) 看板: joke
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米國醫生在醫院常常會互糗對方
 這些是我常常聽到的笑話 XD

大家看看就好，
 不要太認真 XD


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Q: what do you call 2 medical students looking at a EKG?
 (兩個醫學生一起看心電圖叫作什麼?)
A: a double blind study
 (雙盲研究)


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Q: How do you hide a $100 dollar bill from a general surgeon?
 (你要如何從一般外科醫生那裡把100元鈔票藏起來?)
A: Just put it in the patient’s notes.
 (放在病人的病歷裡就好了)

Q: How do you hide a $100 dollar bill from an orthopedic surgeon?
 (你要如何從骨科醫生那裡把100元鈔票藏起來?)
A: Just put it in a medicine textbook.
 (放在醫學課本裡面就好了)

Q: How do you hide a $100 bill from a CT surgeon?
 (你要如何從胸腔外科醫生那裡把100元鈔票藏起來?)
A: Just paste it to their kid's forehead. He will never see it.
 (黏在他小孩的額頭上。他絕對不會發現的)

Q: How do you hide a $100 dollar bill from a plastic surgeon?
 (你要如何從整形醫生那裡把100元鈔票藏起來?)
A: It's a trick question. You can't.
 (不好意思，辦不到)

Q: How do you hide a $100 from a radiologist?
 (你要如何從放射科醫生那裡把100元鈔票藏起來?)
A: Put it on the patient.
 (放在病人身上)

Q: How do you hide a $100 from an internist?
 (你要如何從內科醫生那裡把100元鈔票藏起來?)
A: Easy, just put it under a dressing.
 (很簡單，放在繃帶下)


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knows everything, does nothing
 (什麼都知道，什麼做不了)
Neurologist
 (神經科醫生)

knows nothing, does everything
 (什麼都不知道，什麼都做)
Surgeon
 (外科醫生)

knows nothing, does nothing
 (什麼都不知道，什麼都不做)
Psychiatrist
 (精神科醫師)

knows everything, does everything but too late
 (什麼都知道，但是不管做甚麼都已經太晚了)
A pathologist
 (病理醫生)

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A medical student, family doctor, an internist, a surgeon and a pathologist
go duck hunting.
 (一個醫學生，一個家庭醫生，一個內科醫生，一個外科醫生，
還有一個病理醫生一起去打獵)

The medical student is the first to raise his shotgun,
but unable to tell if the duck is really a duck, he does not shoot.
 (醫學生是第一個舉起獵槍的，但是他沒有開槍..
因為他無法分別那是否真的是一隻鴨子)

The family doctor goes "here's a bird", shoots, kills.
He concludes "it looked like a duck, sounded like a duck,
was killed by duck shot, it was a duck!".
 (家庭醫生說:”這是鳥科類的動物”，冷靜開槍，殺了動物。
他做了結論:”他看起來像隻鴨子，聽起來像隻鴨子，又被我一槍殺了，
他一定是隻鴨”

The internist points his gun, but does not shoot.
"This probable bird certainly looks like a female mallard,
but I must be sure of what I am killing before shooting.
A juvenile Mesopotamian sea duck would look exactly the same!".
 (內科醫生舉起了獵槍，但是他沒有開槍. “這個鳥科動物看起來很像母姓綠頭鴨，
可是我一定要完全確定後才能開槍，因為幼年的美索不達米亞海鴨有可能
看起來跟這隻一模一樣!)

The surgeon goes "look, it flies! Boom", then turns to the
pathologist and asks "So, what was it?".
 (外科醫生大喊: “大家看，有東西在飛! 碰!”，
然後轉身跟身邊的病理醫生說 :” 你幫我看看，那到底是啥玩意兒?”)



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