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三年前大學畢業寫了一個CS major的版本

現在紀念研究所畢業來補一個MiRA student的版本

弄成Physics/EE/CS/MiRA四領域對照版
(作者分別是Physics: 無法考證  EE: iPluto  CS & MiRA: ryanlei)

想看中文翻譯或漂亮排版的就點網誌吧XD

http://ryanlei.wordpress.com/2013/01/12/you_might_be_a_mira_student/

不過這是特別針對我們老師底下的情形  其是我附近幾屆

所以看得懂的笑笑就好  別太在意XD


YOU MIGHT BE A PHYSICS MAJOR...
YOU MIGHT BE AN EE MAJOR...
YOU MIGHT BE A CS MAJOR...
YOU MIGHT BE A STUDENT OF MiRA...

[1]
if you have no life - and you can PROVE it mathematically.
if you have no life - and you can VERIFY it with Matlab simulation.
if you have no life - and you can DEMONSTRATE it with a finite state machine.
if you have no life - and you can FORMULATE it as a quadratic programming
problem.

[2]
if you enjoy pain.
if you enjoy stress.
if you enjoy deadlines.
if you enjoy presentations.

[3]
if you know vector calculus but you can't remember how to do long division.
if you can write C programs but you can't remember how to write English
essays.
if you can compute shortest paths but you can't remember how to find the path
home.
if you can extract visual words but you can't remember how to spell some basic
words.

[4]
if you chuckle whenever anyone says "centrifugal force."
if you chuckle whenever anyone says they eat at "MOS."
if you chuckle whenever anyone says they need a "driver."
if you chuckle whenever anyone says some product has a nice "feature."

[5]
if you've actually used every single function on your graphing calculator.
if you've actually used every single tool on your workstation.
if you've actually read every single manual on your operating system.
if your learning algorithm has analyzed every single video on your hard drive.

[6]
if when you look in a mirror, you see a physics major.
if when you look in a mirror, you see an EE major.
if when you look in a mirror, you see a CS major.
if when you look in a mirror, you see a MiRA student.

[7]
if it is sunny and 70 degrees outside, and you are working on a computer.
if it is sunny and 70 degrees outside, and you are working at the workstation.
if it is sunny and 70 degrees outside, and you are playing with your computer
at the dormitory.
if it is sunny and 70 degrees outside, and you are playing board games in the
lab.

[8]
if you frequently whistle the theme song to "MacGyver."
if you frequently transform the theme song of "MacGyver" to frequency domain.
if you frequently compute the time complexity of singing the theme song
to "MacGyver."
if you frequently extract the audio features of the theme song to "MacGyver."

[9]
if you always do homework on Friday nights.
if you always do designing on Friday nights.
if you always do projects on new year's eves.
if you always do research in summar vacations.

[10]
if you know how to integrate a chicken and can take the derivative of water.
if you know how to layout a chicken and find the step response of water.
if you know how to encode a chicken and decode water.
if you know how to rank a chicken and classify water.

[11]
if you think in "math."
if you think in "circuits."
if you think in "bits."
if you think in "a high dimensional space."

[12]
if you've calculated that the World Series actually diverges.
if you've actually tried to design a potato chip.
if you believe that the main function of the Central Bank is to return 0;
if you believe that the Consumer Price Index is tree-based.

[13]
if you hesitate to look at something because you don't want to break down
its wave function.
if you hesitate to touch something because you don't want to short it to
ground.
if you hesitate to take something because you don't want to cause errors when
there are data hazards.
if you hesitate to believe something because your advisor hasn't said it three
times.

[14]
if you have a pet named after a scientist.
if you have a pet named after a CAD tool.
if you have a pet named after a Linux application.
if you have a pet named after a search engine.

[15]
if you laugh at jokes about mathematicians.
if you laugh at jokes about engineers.
if you laugh at jokes about programmers.
if you laugh at jokes in PHD Comics.

[16]
if the Humane society has you arrested because you actually performed the
Schrodinger's cat experiment.
if school administration has you arrested because you used computational
sharing in the exams.
if the security guard has you arrested because you actually performed
tree traversal algorithms.
if the flight attendants have you arrested because you are trying to perform
cloud computing out of the window.

[17]
if you can translate English into Binary.
if you can design a circuit that translates English to Binary.
if you can translate English into Huffman codes.
if you can translate English into TF-IDF scores.

[18]
if you can't remember what's behind the door in the science building which
says "Exit."
if you can't remember what's the correct result of LVS.
if you can't remember what's the desired result of UVa Online Judge.
if you can't remember the feeling of a paper submission being accepted.

[19]
if you have to bring a jacket with you, in the middle of summer, because
there's a wind-chill factor in the lab.
if you have to bring a coat with you, in the middle of summer, because
the air conditioning at workstation is freaking cold.
if you have to take off your coat, in the middle of winter, because
there's a Wi-Fi "hotspot" in the lab.
if you have to bring ear plugs with you, in a comfortable afternoon, because
there are noisy people in the crowded lab.

[20]
if you are completely addicted to caffeine.
if you are completely addicted to 7-11 lunchboxs.
if you are completely addicted to instant noodles.
if you are completely addicted to Apple products.

[21]
if you avoid doing anything because you don't want to contribute to the
eventual heat-death of the universe.
if you avoid doing anything because you don't want to cause useless power
consumption in the system.
if you avoid doing anything because you don't want to raise the degree of
multiprogramming in the system.
if you avoid doing anything because you don't want to raise the entropy of the
system.

[22]
if you consider ANY non-science course "easy."
if you consider courses without ANY project "easy."
if you consider ANY physics course and MANY EE courses "difficult."
if you consider ANY non-multimedia seminar "boring."

[23]
if when your professor asks you where your homework is, you claim to have
accidentally determined its momentum so precisely, that according to
Heisenberg it could be anywhere in the universe.
if when your professor asks you where your project is, you claim to have
accidentally chosen the wrong sampling frequency, thus perfect reconstruction
is no longer available.
if when your professor asks you where your homework is, you claim to have
accidentally submitted it with the UDP protocol, which does not guarantee
reliable data transfer.
if when your advisor asks you where your progress is, you claim to have
accidentally reduced it into compact hash code, which is irreversible.

[24]
if the "fun" center of your brain has deteriorated from lack of use.
if the "sleep" center of your brain has deteriorated from lack of use.
if the "love" center of your brain has deteriorated from lack of use.
if the "sport" center of your brain has deteriorated from lack of use.

[25]
if you'll assume that a "horse" is a "sphere" in order to make the math
easier.
if you'll assume that a "horse" is a "blackbox" in order to simplify the
designing process.
if you'll assume that "horses" are a "class" in order to apply the concept of
object-oriented programming.
if you'll assume that "horses" are a "concept" in order to simplify the
representation of low-level image features.

[26]
if you understood more than five of these indicators.
if you understood more than 0101 of these indicators.
if you understood more than ('\r' % '\b') of these indicators.
if your NLP program can parse more than five of these indicators.

[27]
if you make a hard copy of this list, and post it on your door.
if you copy this list and post it on your BBS board.
if you modify someone else's list and post it on their BBS board.
if you modify your own list and re-post it on your BBS board.


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It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.

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※ ryanlei:轉錄至某隱形看板                                        01/12 18:24

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