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本名 Carlos Ray Norris

英文名 Chuck Norris

出生 1940年3月10日 (1940-03-10)（71歲）美國，奧克拉荷馬，雷恩

著名角色
《德州騎警》：柯德爾· "柯德"· 沃克
《總統特務》《總統特務2》：約書亞· 麥可德
《猛龍過江》：飾演本人


今年已經71歲的他，一直到2005年都還有動作片演出
從那時起網路上就出現爆多「羅禮士真相」(Chuck Norris Facts)
來向這位在電影界和武術界都名聲遠播的陽剛硬漢「另類致敬」


There was no atomic bomb explosion in Hiroshima, it was Chuck Norris
jumping out of the plane and punching the ground.
廣島從來沒被什麼原子彈炸過。是羅禮士跳下飛機，然後一拳轟在地上。


Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs
of life.
羅禮士曾經登陸過火星，這就是為什麼那裡沒有生命跡象。


Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage
to tell him yet.
其實羅禮士20年前就已經死了，只是死神還沒有足夠的勇氣去告訴他。


Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
羅禮士就是為什麼威力還躲著的原因。
(「威力在哪裡」的梗詳見此：http://ppt.cc/lfMy)


Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience.
死神曾經有過一次「瀕-羅禮士經驗」。


Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
羅禮士能夠關上一扇旋轉門。


Chuck Norris was denied auditioning for "Mission Impossible", for
obvious reasons.
電影「不可能的任務」劇組拒絕羅禮士去試演，原因很明顯。


Chuck Norris was in all 6 Star Wars movies...... As The Force.
羅禮士在六部「星際大戰」電影中都有參與演出……他飾演「原力」。


Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly
foolish enough to attack him.
羅禮士不可能得到心臟病，他的心臟還沒笨到去攻擊他。
(heart attack雙關語)


Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.
羅禮士可以摩擦兩塊冰塊來生火。


Chuck Norris met an exclamation point and punched it in the face.
We now have questions.
羅禮士有天遇到驚嘆號，並在它臉上揍了一拳。所以我們現在有了問號。


We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away
from Chuck Norris.
我們活在一個擴展中的宇宙。所有事物都在全力遠離羅禮士。


Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke...
that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
有一次羅禮士惡作劇尿尿在一輛貨櫃車的油箱裡…那部車後來變成我們熟知的柯博文。


Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets
the information he wants.
羅禮士從不讀書。他只是狠狠瞪著書本，直到書本給了他想要的資訊。


Chuck Norris does not need Twitter...he is already following you.
羅禮士不使用推特…他已經在跟著你了。


When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's
pushing the Earth down.
當羅禮士做伏地挺身的時候，他不是把自己撐起來，他是把地球壓下去。


Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game
of tennis.
羅禮士是地球上唯一在網球比賽中贏過一堵磚牆的男人。


Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
羅禮士不需要呼吸，他只是把氧氣當作人質。


Chuck Norris invented water.
查克羅禮士發明了水。


If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris
has more money than you.
如果你有五塊錢，而羅禮士也有五塊錢，他有的錢比你多。


Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is
afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
羅禮士睡覺時會開著小夜燈。不是因為羅禮士害怕黑暗，而是黑暗害怕羅禮士。


Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
羅禮士去漢堡王點了一個大麥克，而且他拿到了。


A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped
people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck
Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
殘障車位不是專門為了殘疾人士而設的。事實上它是在標明這是羅禮士的車位，而
如果你停在這裡，你會被他打成半殘。


已經71歲了還這麼猛...有沒有他的八卦啊?

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◆ From: 111.249.129.124
※ 編輯: IntelC2D        來自: 111.249.129.124      (12/15 23:04)
※ IntelC2D:轉錄至看板 joke                                        12/16 08:23
※ e1q3z9c7:轉錄至看板 TigerBlue                                   12/16 21:50

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