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標題 [翻譯] Reddit：兩句鬼話 15則
時間 Sun Sep 11 19:27:46 2022
作者
標題 [翻譯] Reddit：兩句鬼話 15則
時間 Sun Sep 11 19:27:46 2022
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1.
當我回家發現老婆跟另一個男人睡在一起時，我傷心到立刻奪門而出。
一直到我隔天回來才發現，後門門鎖被破壞了。
原文網址：https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoSentenceHorror/comments/s7yphf/i_was_so_
I was so devastated when I came home and found my wife in bed with another man that I left without saying a word. : TwoSentenceHorror 21.6k votes, 323 comments. It wasn't until the day after when I finally returned that I noticed the lock on the back door was broken. ...
2.
“您離目的地還有十公尺---三十公---八公尺。” 當GPS今晚當機第四次後，我終於決定
停車看看它是出了什麼問題。
隨著車子逐漸停下，GPS 再次開始導航，“三公尺---兩公---一公---它已到達您的所在
地。”
原文網址：https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoSentenceHorror/comments/wvkkpb/you_are_t
"YOU ARE TEN METE-- THIRTY METE-- EIGHT METERS FROM YOUR DESTINATION" the GPS stuttered for the fourth time tonight as I pulled over to finally fix the damn thing. : TwoSentenceHorror 10.2k votes, 253 comments. "YOU ARE FOUR METERS FR--" it continued as the car came to a halt, "THREE METE-- TWO MET-- ONE M--, IT HAS ARRIVED AT … ...
3.
［此文章已被Reddit移除］
［文章內提及2023-2052年間所發生之事件違反使用條款］
原文網址：https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoSentenceHorror/comments/x8yfav/removed_b
[ Removed by Reddit ] : TwoSentenceHorror
9.5k votes, 229 comments. [ It is forbidden to publicize information regarding the upcoming events of 2023-2052 ] ...
9.5k votes, 229 comments. [ It is forbidden to publicize information regarding the upcoming events of 2023-2052 ] ...
4.
當她看到我拎著的那兩顆人頭，她立刻緊擁我並開始與我深吻。
“爸媽再也不能阻止我們在一起了。”我邊說邊親吻她的後背。
原文網址：https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoSentenceHorror/comments/t81xfx/as_i_pres
As I presented the two severed heads to her, she wrapped her arms around me and kissed me deeply. : TwoSentenceHorror 9.9k votes, 220 comments. “Mom and dad can’t keep us apart anymore,” I said before kissing her back. ...
5.
“爸爸，為什麼媽咪這麼討厭我？” 我兒子問，眼睛裡充滿了悲傷和恐懼。
決定是時候告訴他事實，我回答道，“她只是對你在分娩時活下來，但她沒有的事實感到
生氣而已”
原文網址：https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoSentenceHorror/comments/u9exuw/daddy_why
"Daddy, why is mommy always so mean to me?" my son asks, his tear-stained face wrought with sadness and fear. : TwoSentenceHorror 15.9k votes, 154 comments. Deciding that it's finally time to tell him the truth, I say, "she's just upset that you survived childbirth and she … ...
6.
“媽咪，媽咪！今天有個吸血鬼在學校攻擊我們，所以我們把它綁了起來並曬在陽光下，
它尖叫了好幾個小時呢！”
貝克小姐震驚的聽著，雙手緊握學校通知有白化病*學童入學的信函。
（註：白化病是一遺傳疾病，病患因皮膚缺乏色素而變白，病患眼睛一般呈紅色，且畏光
，並易有視力上的缺陷）
原文網址：https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoSentenceHorror/comments/sblkqq/mommy_mom
"Mommy, mommy, a vampire tried to ambush us on the playground today, but we tied it up and let it scream for hours in the sunlight!" : TwoSentenceHorror 15.7k votes, 213 comments. Mrs. Baker listened in shock, while she clutched the school letter on the needs of the new student with albinism. ...
7.
昨天我的五歲小孩看了哈利波特電影，
今天我發現掃把不見了，且我們位於十樓的客廳窗戶是打開的。
原文網址：https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoSentenceHorror/comments/rglxhy/yesterday
Yesterday I showed my five year old Harry Potter for the first time. : TwoSentenceHorror 15.4k votes, 262 comments. Today I found the broom missing and the living room window of our 10th story apartment wide open. ...
8.
當他們確認門鎖有鎖上後，就都放心了下來。
他們從來沒想到門不是自己上鎖的可能性。
原文網址：https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoSentenceHorror/comments/tenpfv/everyone_
Everyone feels safe when they double check that the door is locked. : TwoSentenceHorror 15.3k votes, 156 comments. They never seem to consider it might not have been them that locked it. ...
9.
隨著AI的飛速發展，第一台能感受到疼痛的機器在2030年被研發出來。
然而，第一台能表達自身疼痛的機器要到30年後才出現。
原文網址：https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoSentenceHorror/comments/s70byw/with_adva
With advances in AI, the first machine capable of feeling pain was created in 2030 : TwoSentenceHorror 15.1k votes, 195 comments. The first machine capable of expressing pain was created 30 years later. ...
10.
經歷多年的痛苦折磨後，我感到全身輕飄飄的，知道我終於要離開這地獄了。
“醫生，這病人差點就走了！”這是我打開眼睛後，聽到護士說的第一句話。
原文網址：https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoSentenceHorror/comments/v3vdo5/after_dec
After decades of torture and agony, I was finally lifted up in the sky, thinking I had served my time in hell. : TwoSentenceHorror 14.4k votes, 262 comments. "Doctor, we lost him for a second!", I heard the nurse say when I opened my eyes. ...
11.
“爸爸，有人在我的床下！” 我的女兒尖叫著，但我完全不敢出來救她。
躲在床底下，在綁架她的人的房子裡，我開始思考她為什麼會那樣說。
原文網址：https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoSentenceHorror/comments/u2o9i8/daddy_the
"Daddy, there's someone under my bed!" my daughter screamed, but I was too scared to go out and save her. : TwoSentenceHorror 14.3k votes, 155 comments. Hiding under her bed, in her kidnapper's house, I couldn't help but wonder why she called him that. ...
12.
當看到死後的統計數據時，我恐懼的盯著“殺人幫凶”一欄出現的數據：27。
更讓我感到害怕的是我是自殺防治熱線的接線員。
原文網址：https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoSentenceHorror/comments/s67nvs/as_i_was_
As I was shown the statistics of my life after death, I stared in horror at the 27 'assist kills.' : TwoSentenceHorror 14.0k votes, 167 comments. The horror was far more striking for me, seeing as I was a suicide hotline worker. ...
13.
母親曾經告訴我許多有關女巫的故事：那個女巫在她年輕時詛咒了她，告訴她將來會失去
她的家庭、摯愛、和人生中每一份的快樂。
當我到安置老年痴呆病患的安養院探望她，每一次，看到母親目光呆滯的盯著我，都讓我
想起那些故事。
原文網址：https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoSentenceHorror/comments/vyef14/mom_used_
Mom used to tell stories of a witch who cursed her when she was young, foretelling that she would lose her family, lose her love, and every last shred of joy in her life. : TwoSentenceHorror 13.5k votes, 145 comments. I often think about that story when I visit her in the Alzheimer's ward, and she just blankly stares at me with unfocused … ...
14.
在進入身體後，寄生蟲會移動到大腦並開始繁殖，病患出現的第一個症狀是大量頭髮突然
掉落。
寄生蟲在發育完成後，尾巴會在頭皮冒出以吸收陽光，然後病患會覺得頭髮長回來了。
原文網址：https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoSentenceHorror/comments/t5171f/after_ent
After entering your body, the parasites would migrate to your brain where they start to multiply and the first symptom would be sudden, massive hair loss. : TwoSentenceHorror 15.0k votes, 244 comments. During the maturation phase, their tails would gradually sprout through your skull to get sunlight, and you would think … ...
15.
［已更新：離開因沒打掃家裡而打斷我手臂的丈夫算不算混蛋的一種啊？*］
（註：原文標題開頭為AITA，是AmItheAsshole版的標準開頭格式，此版內容為討論發文
者各種行為的惡劣程度）
更新：他已經跟我道歉，說他很愛我，並保證這種事不會再發生了，所以我很開心的宣布
要回到他身邊了！
原文網址：https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoSentenceHorror/comments/wuy1et/update_ai
UPDATE: AITA for leaving after my husband broke my wrist for not cleaning? : TwoSentenceHorror 17.1k votes, 325 comments. He apologized, told me he loves me, and promised it wouldn't happen again, so I'm happy to report I am going back home! ...
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※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc), 來自: 42.73.243.51 (臺灣)
※ 文章代碼(AID): #1Z7SPDlR (marvel)
※ 文章網址: https://www.ptt.cc/bbs/marvel/M.1662895693.A.BDB.html
※ 編輯: Lemonfish004 (42.73.243.51 臺灣), 09/11/2022 19:28:38
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推 : 9真是太看得起人類的同理心 能感受疼痛卻不能表達的物種多了去 we don’t fuxking care1F 09/11 19:45
推 : 11、15看不太懂3F 09/11 20:15
推 : 我也覺得無法表達疼痛，至少無法讓人類明確知道的物種非常多，寵物就是其一4F 09/11 20:35
推 : 15就當事人要回到家暴人身邊啊6F 09/11 21:02
推 : 11是真爸爸要去營救被綁架的女兒 但被綁架的女兒一直以為綁架犯才是爸爸吧7F 09/11 21:10
推 : 謝謝翻譯 好好看9F 09/11 21:27
推 : 15可能是兩句話不同人打的 因為第2句像極了強勢那方才會說的話10F 09/11 21:51
推 : 4.要怎麼抱在一起又親到女方的背的?12F 09/11 22:02
推 : 各種屁孩欸這次13F 09/11 22:28
推 : 2看不懂@@14F 09/11 22:41
推 : 2 是在報鬼的位置15F 09/11 22:55
推 : 推16F 09/11 23:01
推 : 3是中介法美國版
11 為什麼認賊作父有些莫名17F 09/11 23:08
11 為什麼認賊作父有些莫名17F 09/11 23:08
推 : 11說話的人會不會是媽媽？19F 09/11 23:23
推 : 12看不懂 感謝翻譯20F 09/11 23:43
推 : 12看不懂
看了12原文應該是死後每個人都有一個統計表 而主角的統計表上幫兇的部分是27
這部分感覺不太好翻出那個味道 還是感謝原po翻譯～21F 09/12 00:15
看了12原文應該是死後每個人都有一個統計表 而主角的統計表上幫兇的部分是27
這部分感覺不太好翻出那個味道 還是感謝原po翻譯～21F 09/12 00:15
推 : 9機器：該修我了（x25F 09/12 00:20
推 : 跟意圖自殺者的應對太失敗26F 09/12 00:35
推 : 11求翻譯27F 09/12 00:40
推 : 感謝翻譯28F 09/12 00:43
推 : 11第一人稱是不是媽媽
12應該是主角死後看到的關於自己人生的總結，身為自殺防治熱線卻促成了27個人最終選擇自殺
補充11的小孩可能很小分不清楚爸爸其實在綁架他29F 09/12 00:49
12應該是主角死後看到的關於自己人生的總結，身為自殺防治熱線卻促成了27個人最終選擇自殺
補充11的小孩可能很小分不清楚爸爸其實在綁架他29F 09/12 00:49
推 : 好多個都又悲傷又可怕，啊，人生33F 09/12 00:59
推 : 第一則看完的第一反應是奪門而出那個把門搬走的爛笑話34F 09/12 01:18
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(Lemonfish004.): [翻譯] Reddit：兩句鬼話 15則 - Marvel板