看板 CityNight
作者
標題 [報章] 衛報兩性版 #情侶相處 #伴侶配偶 #夫妻關係 #生活版 #家庭版
時間 2017-04-01 Sat. 23:24:12
作者
標題 [報章] 衛報兩性版 #情侶相處 #伴侶配偶 #夫妻關係 #生活版 #家庭版
時間 2017-04-01 Sat. 23:24:12
> http://disp.cc/b/261-9vSR
My boyfriend cheated on me using Skype sex. Does it matter?
A woman in her 20s has discovered that her beloved partner has been having online sex with porn stars. Mariella Frostrup says she is right to worry
#用視訊跟AV女優電愛
#網路性愛偷腥
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2017-01-01 16:37:25
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/jan/21/the-affair-that-saved-our-marriage
The affair that saved our marriage
Tal Araim’s affair brought his 16-year marriage to Samara to the brink. But four years later, they are still together and closer than ever – how did they survive? Anna Moore finds out
#外遇救了婚姻？
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2017-01-21 22:13:34
My wife prefers her vibrator to sex with me
She says she’s too tired to make love, then masturbates in secret. How can I break this cycle?
#老婆說按摩棒比較好
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2017-01-30 15:21:40
Tim Dowling: I’m away, so my wife has time to decide whether to leave me
She’ll have a chance to crunch the numbers and see it makes no financial sense to go
#離婚
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2017-02-04 17:00:05
I want to leave my partner of 15 years. Am I being selfish?
A woman who married her longtime partner two years ago now wants to separate. Mariella Frostrup wonders why it’s taken so long to address the issues in their relationship
想離開15年的伴侶，這是自私嗎？
#愛情長跑終於結婚，現在想分開
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2017-02-05 17:25:33
My best friend met the love of her life – and I can’t cope
A woman feels bereft because her friend has less time for her. Mariella says stamping her foot because she’s getting less attention is not the way forward
The dilemma:
I’m 32 and struggling with unwanted changes to a much valued friendship. Over the past two years I’ve been rather left behind with a friend who met the love of her life, got married and fully embraced her friendships with her husband’s friends. We spent less and less time together and when we did, she seemed disengaged. It rather broke my heart as I consider her one of my closest confidantes. I suppose at first I dealt with it very badly, getting emotional and confronting her about her “neglect” of our friendship. I would still love to get our friendship back on track. I just don’t know how. Her priority is her husband and the new family they will likely create and I know I can’t turn the clock back. I’m surprised to find teenage feelings resurfacing at my age! But I don’t know how to move on from something I feel so sad about.
#好友好姊妹手帕交遇見真愛 苦主無法應對調適
#不想要的改變
I’m 26, a virgin and attracted to a woman twice my age
A young man is jealous his female friend of 50 has fallen in love with another man. Mariella Frostrup says it’s time he finds his own – realistic – sexual relationship
#忌妒 #同性戀 #蕾絲邊
#情慾性衝動
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2016-12-11 17:23:54
Share the hate, ruin the date
When it comes to finding a partner, discovering the things you both love is a far healthier start
分享仇恨
毀了約會
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2017-02-13 04:35:34
https://www.theguardian.com/commenti...allow-readers-on-their-divorce
'I toasted my marriage certificate like a marshmallow': readers on their divorces
From mourning the loss of a marriage to celebrating it with a party – the ways to draw a line under the past are many and varied
http://imgur.com/YQ8ZPuK
‘I realised my husband was a millstone dragging my life down ... divorce was incredibly freeing and a huge relief.’ Photograph: Kate Emmett/Jesmond Cake Company
http://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/couples-do-the-splits-at-divorce-parties-brfv9tvv0
http://divorcepartyplanner.com/
Unlike marriage or bereavement, divorce has not traditionally been marked by a special event or social gathering. But, already established in the US and becoming more popular in the UK, divorce parties are said to provide “the ritual we humans need to cope with any difficult life transition”, as one event planner puts it. We asked our readers how they marked the end of their marriage and the emotions they felt when they received their decree absolute.
Gwenyth, 58, Canada: I put my marriage certificate on the end of a stick and toasted it in the fire like a marshmallow
I realised my husband was a millstone dragging my life down with his addictions and inability to hold a job long enough to contribute to our lives. On the day I received my decree nisi, I had a celebratory bonfire in my backyard. I put my marriage certificate (on which my ex had scribbled obscenities) on the end of a long stick and toasted it in the fire like a marshmallow.
Afterwards, when I received the cash settlement from the sale of our house, I went on an extended hiking and camping tour of the UK. I deliberately spent every penny of that settlement on my trip because I didn’t want any of it left over to contaminate my new life. It was incredibly freeing and a huge relief. Although it took 15 years for me to trust my own judgment again, I am now happily married.
https://www.theguardian.com/commenti...readers-on-their-divorce#img-2
Helen from Uttoxeter
Helen, 52, Uttoxeter: We filled in the divorce forms together and celebrated the outcome together, and that felt right
We grew apart. We had married for the wrong reasons, but we’d been good friends before and we were good friends afterwards too.
We went out for dinner at a Mexican restaurant in Clapham the day our decree nisi came through. We were ordering aperitifs, starters, the whole enchilada, and the waiter asked “What are you celebrating?” We told him, and he rolled his eyes and said, “I get all the nutters on my tables,” and turned on his heel and walked away. We laughed so much.It was 1995, and I guess divorce celebrations weren’t so common, but ours felt right and worked for us. Sadly my ex-husband was killed in a random street attack in 2003.
Getting divorced, like getting married, was something we’d done together. We filled in the forms together, we celebrated the outcome together, and that felt right. I don’t think we would have wanted a party though.
Jason Southfields, 47, Wimbledon: I wondered when the pain of it all would go away
When I look back now, I think both my ex-wife and myself had a terrible run of luck, which eventually took its toll on our marriage. We had both recently lost parents, had two very young children and no familial, or other, support around us. I eventually sought consolation in another relationship with someone at work, which I regretted instantly, but it made it clear to me that the marriage was over.
I thought back to our wedding day and how happy we were. And then I broke down in tears.
Jason
Divorce is extremely painful for most people who go through it. When I got the decree absolute through the post, I thought back to our wedding day and how happy we were, and how I genuinely thought the marriage would last for ever. And then I broke down in tears, and just couldn’t stop crying. For me, it was more painful than my dad dying a few years previously. I felt raw, broken and totally beaten up.
That’s how I marked my divorce, wondering when the pain of it all might go away. To mark it in any other way would have dishonoured its memory. I simply took my wedding ring off, placed it in a box, and have never seen it since, some eight years later.
Anonymous, 33, Boston: I fell in love and came out of the closet
AdvertisementReport this ad
I got divorced at the age of 28 after nine months of marriage to a man I did not love but who I married because it was expected of me. I grew up in a rural area that was extremely conservative with the notion that being gay was not allowed. I was very deeply closeted until I met a woman by chance, from Spain, who changed the course of my life. I fell in love with her and told my husband, friends and family.
For me, this transition was greater than just a divorce. I came out of the closet and had to face all the consequences that went along with that. My entire life changed when I decided to start living my life honestly. Travelling around the world with a woman I loved and finally allowing myself to be who I really am was the best way to mark the divorce.
Steve H, 44, south London: I had a house party and decided to make the theme 80s fancy dress
My ex-wife was unfaithful and living life together afterwards wasn’t an option. In retrospect the marriage had been dying a slow death for years and we probably weren’t really all that compatible in the first place. But we got together young, had kids and I loved her so we made a reasonable stab at keeping it all ticking along for 10 years.
https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/49783...c12775f7a04ccf026ddd4894c3db66
Guests at Steve H’s 80s-themed divorce party
Guests at Steve H’s 80s-themed divorce party Photograph: Steve H
It was painful, but relief kicked in fairly quickly once the shock was over and the divorce became a reality. I felt free.
I decided that rather than wallow or let what was the single most traumatic experience of my life pass by without mention, I wanted a ‘wake’ to mark the passing of what used to be my life and (hopefully) usher in a a bright new single future. Bearing in mind I was 35 when all this happened it felt like something to celebrate - the years ahead unwritten - at the same time as laying a life to rest. There was also a sense of wanting family and friends to see I was OK.
So I went all-out. I had a house party, invited all my best people, decided to make it 80s fancy dress and installed a disco ball in the dining room. I just wanted the best party I could imagine, in my house, with only my guest list, my music and my theme. It felt good, and it really did mark the start of my life to come. I realise a party may not be for everyone but not marking what is without a doubt one of life’s greatest traumas seems too much like toughing it out to me. As with all things in life, there’s usually a way to turn even the worst of situations into something positive. This was my way of trying to do that, and it helped.
I know it was just a token celebration but it was important to acknowledge what had happened.
Grandmama
Grandmama, 69, Scotland: I celebrated by buying everyone in my team a cream cake
AdvertisementReport this ad
I left my husband because his alcoholism was unstoppable. I loved him but could not bear to watch his inevitable decline and the resulting impact on myself and my children any more. I managed my departure by organising a new job in another country, leaving friends, family and possessions behind. I promised my mother-in-law that I wouldn’t divorce him when I left, so I had to wait for quite a long time. I stayed in touch with him over the years - it was very hard but I wanted to remember the happy times in our life together and focus on the positive. Six years later, he managed to initiate a no-fault divorce.
I hate parties so celebrated by buying everyone in my team a cream cake. It was just a token celebration but it was important to acknowledge what had happened, and I wanted to break the news to my co-workers, who were unaware of the impending divorce. It was a great relief to feel free again and to have my marital status more clearly established at last.
Angela, 38, London: I threw a big thank-god-I’m-free party
My ex-husband had no ability to empathise, and his selfishness was on a level that still gives me chills. We sold the marital home and split the proceeds, so we both moved out at the same time. I moved into a beautiful 18th-century cottage that had walls several feet thick, which I hoped to provide me with the protection that I felt I needed at the time.
The move also happened to coincide with my birthday, so I threw a big moving-in/birthday/thank-god-I’m-free party. Halfway through the evening I started to feel ill. I’d had a few cocktails but hadn’t overdone it. I was violently ill for the following 72 hours – the worst I’ve ever felt. It was just a nasty stomach bug but it felt like I was expelling all the stress of the last year of my life. Surrounded by friends who cared enough to literally hold my hair out of my face, to clear up after the party, and to stay with me until I was well again was a great sign of how wonderful some of the people in my life were willing to be. While I didn’t choose to be ill, I am glad I gathered my friends around me for that party. Divorce is such a lonely process, and I didn’t realise how much I needed to know I was still loved until I was shown.
#讀者投書經驗分享 #結婚證書當考棉花糖 #從對失婚哀傷到辦派對慶祝離婚 #過去到現在有需多的改變 #時代變遷
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2017-02-17 14:08:55
Unhappily married? You’re not alone | Virginia Ironside | Opinion | The Guardian
As an agony aunt I’ve heard all sorts about couples. But this doesn’t make it any easier to judge whether Tini Owens’s loneliness should be grounds for divorce
結婚不快樂？不是只有妳/妳一個人
‘Tini Owens’s accusation of ‘unreasonable behaviour’ against her husband was thrown out because the judge decided the grounds were too flimsy.’ Photograph: Dominic Lipinski/PA
The marriage between Tini Owens and her multimillionaire mushroom farmer husband, Hugh, doesn’t sound like one that most of us would relish. She tried to divorce him last year, but was told by a judge that she couldn’t, because they hadn’t lived apart for five years. Now she has asked the court of appeal to overturn that ruling.
https://www.theguardian.com/commenti...allow-readers-on-their-divorce
'I toasted my marriage certificate like a marshmallow': readers on their divorces
Guardian readers and Rachel Obordo
Read more
Hugh had, according to evidence supplied by Tini, constantly berated her about a year-long affair she’d had, rowed with her in an airport shop, criticised her to the housekeeper, avoided speaking to her during a meal in a pub – and asked her to pick up bits of cardboard from the garden.
But the accusation of “unreasonable behaviour” was thrown out because the judge decided the grounds were too flimsy. This is a very odd conclusion – the judge essentially told poor Mrs Owens she must stay married to a husband she no longer wants, until enough time has elapsed for his agreement to no longer be required. Yet I don’t entirely blame the judge; he was just upholding laws requiring a couple to have lived apart for at least five years if one party opposes the marriage’s dissolution.
The letters I received as an agony aunt showed me the vast range of behaviours in a marriage that some people are prepared to put up with – and not put up with. One reader and her husband hadn’t spoken to each other for five years – and used their son as an intermediary. But neither wanted to divorce. Another woman put up with her husband having countless affairs. Miserable as such marriages might seem to us, for those couples they were good enough.
On the other hand, one man wrote to say he wanted to leave his wife and children just because he’d spotted her kissing another man while drunk at an office party. No matter how she grovelled and apologised, he couldn’t accept it.
I would guess the problem in the Owens’ marriage is not so much that one behaved entirely unreasonably to the other; it is that they have different expectations of marriage. A man of Hugh’s age, 78, a man who’s done national service, a man who may have seen his own father behave in the same cavalier way to his mother as he behaved to Tini, just doesn’t see the problem. Marriage for him is for life, even if his wife did have an affair.
She, on the other hand, is looking for warmth and compatibility. She described to the court feeling “unloved”. And as she can’t get the warmth she needs from Hugh, at 65 she understandably wants to move on.
Unhappy couple
‘We’ve all witnessed married friends arguing and bickering so much that we wonder how they can stand each other.’ Photograph: Alamy
Tolstoy said: “All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” But he was wrong. Happy – or happyish – families can be very different. They range from being comfortable and loving to those in which both partners feel that the upside of being married only just outweighs the downside. Unless behaviour is intolerable by any person’s standards, how can a judge rule on it?
If one partner spends the night gambling away the family savings and yet the other can tolerate this behaviour, then the relationship could be regarded as OK. Not happy, but bearable. We’ve all witnessed married friends behaving in a way that we would find unacceptable. They argue and bicker so much that we wonder how they can stand each other. But we don’t know what each partner gets out of this. Who knows, perhaps it’s a weird kind of foreplay? After they’ve had a good public snipe, they may go back home for glorious sex. To outsiders it’s a mystery how the relationship works, but somehow it does.
And we’ve all seen relationships break up when one or other of the partners “reforms” their bad behaviour. A woman complains bitterly about her alcoholic husband but finds living with him sober too much to bear.
Sometimes dysfunctional relationships totter on because partners’ behaviour resembles what they each experienced as a child. Although the protagonists may not exactly enjoy it, at least it reminds them of the security of being at home.
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/feb/12/marriage-week-what-makes-a-relationship-work
Grit your teeth and struggle through. Is this the key to happy relationships?
Read more
As for Tini feeling “unloved, isolated and alone”, is this grounds for divorce? Who hasn’t had a row in an airport shop? A silent meal? I’ve sat through hundreds. In Tini’s position, another woman might tell Hugh to pick up his own cardboard and laugh at his grumpiness.
I don’t know what the appeal court will decide about the Owens’ marriage, but as judge James Munby pointed out this week: “It is not a ground for divorce if you find yourself in a wretchedly unhappy marriage – people may say it should be.”
I don’t – because it’s often too difficult to say whether the petitioner is being made unhappy by the other person, or whether she or he is the sort who finds insult and cruelty in every breath their partner takes.
I started off by saying the Owens’s marriage isn’t one that most people would relish. But on reflection, who am I to say? I’ve met too many people who can happily shrug off behaviour I find wretched, to judge.
#抱怨 #香菇富農 #富翁 #不合理行為
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2017-02-17 14:15:01
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/feb/24/tim-lott-scarlett-johansson-monogamy-unnatural
If I looked like Scarlett Johansson I’d probably understand her view on monogamy
The actress has said that monogamy is unnatural and hard work, but it’s more about demand, supply and opportunity
#單一伴侶配偶 #一夫一妻 #不自然 #要努力 #需求與供應還有機會
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2017-02-25 01:46:10
A letter to … My narcissistic husband, who had an affair and blamed me
The letter you always wanted to write
#自戀的丈夫搞外遇還敢怪太太
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2017-02-25 22:36:08
It’s finally time to say ‘I don’t’ to the solo wedding craze
Getting married to yourself – sologamy – may be a chance for a great party. But think about it for a minute and your heart will break
#嫁給自己
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2017-02-27 01:18:59
Tim Dowling: who’s the woman in my bed?
Our album is in the charts. Time to live a little, I think
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2017-03-06 02:30:14
How likely is your marriage to succeed? Start by counting the guests – quiz
Try our quiz to find out the relationship between the size and cost of your wedding and its likely success
從婚宴賓客名單 看婚姻未來是否能夠成功
#婚禮
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2017-03-19 23:04:02
How I married a world-champion air guitarist who turned up on my doorstep
People say you just know when you meet the man you are going to marry. Not true ... it’s an act of blind faith
#空氣吉他冠軍
Nothing prepared me for pregnancy – apart from the never-ending hangover of my 20s
I am queasy, irritable and dehydrated. My heavy-drinking days have trained me well for having a baby
#避孕措施 #宿醉酒 #酗酒
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2017-03-27 13:50:05
--
※ 作者: Ctea 時間: 2017-04-01 23:22:21
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2016-10-22 21:49:38
--
※ 作者: Ctea 時間: 2017-04-01 23:24:12
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2017-04-03 02:33:35
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2017-04-17 14:44:48
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandst...474966&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2
Our ‘sexperiment’ and other methods of improving our sex life | Life and style | The Guardian
![[圖]]()
After Jancee Dunn and her husband became parents, their sex life was non-existent. Rather than ignore the problem, they decided to do something about ...
![[圖]](https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/3f29a75627f3d74799ad03184bd8326046e07ef0/0_895_3312_1985/master/3312.jpg?w=1200&h=630&q=55&auto=format&usm=12&fit=crop&crop=faces%2Centropy&bm=normal&ba=bottom%2Cleft&blend64=aHR0cHM6Ly91cGxvYWRzLmd1aW0uY28udWsvMjAxNi8wNS8yNS9vdmVybGF5LWxvZ28tMTIwMC05MF9vcHQucG5n&s=ce851eaa77589886e4352e687468d1be)
After Jancee Dunn and her husband became parents, their sex life was non-existent. Rather than ignore the problem, they decided to do something about it
#增進夫妻情誼 #性愛實驗 #生小孩後的性生活
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2017-04-01 23:31:02
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandst...474966&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2
How to cope with a sexless marriage | Life and style | The Guardian
![[圖]]()
Be honest, listen to each other properly and be patient – plus expert tips for bringing back intimacy ...
![[圖]](https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/d82fa13fd5d94b83c82b68ade91c72eba24fb144/0_201_6144_3687/master/6144.jpg?w=1200&h=630&q=55&auto=format&usm=12&fit=crop&crop=faces%2Centropy&bm=normal&ba=bottom%2Cleft&blend64=aHR0cHM6Ly91cGxvYWRzLmd1aW0uY28udWsvMjAxNi8wNS8yNS9vdmVybGF5LWxvZ28tMTIwMC05MF9vcHQucG5n&s=e46b72a4ec9e8f793012dae7c0e22fba)
#無性婚姻
> -------------------------------------------------------------------------- <
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandst...474966&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2
‘I don’t think we’ll ever have sex again’: our happy, cuddly, celibate marriage | Life and style | The Guardian
![[圖]]()
Brian and Alison have been together for 25 years and haven’t had sex for the past 20. Here, they explain why ...
![[圖]](https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/9fdacd3a8387164aae298a7fab3ea771f4996473/0_346_5119_3071/master/5119.jpg?w=1200&h=630&q=55&auto=format&usm=12&fit=crop&crop=faces%2Centropy&bm=normal&ba=bottom%2Cleft&blend64=aHR0cHM6Ly91cGxvYWRzLmd1aW0uY28udWsvMjAxNi8wNS8yNS9vdmVybGF5LWxvZ28tMTIwMC05MF9vcHQucG5n&s=7f797fd9d2ce670f018f8cc443c0a00f)
> -------------------------------------------------------------------------- <
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandst...474966&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2
How can I get used to my partner’s low sex drive? | Mariella Frostrup | Life and style | The Guardian
![[圖]]()
Don’t, says Mariella Frostrup. Your partner’s low libido will always make you feel unappealing. Either he must get help or you should find a better ma ...
![[圖]](https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/49b9193007425f8989cb3dca99e6b042609389e2/0_10_640_384/master/640.jpg?w=1200&h=630&q=55&auto=format&usm=12&fit=crop&crop=faces%2Centropy&bm=normal&ba=bottom%2Cleft&blend64=aHR0cHM6Ly91cGxvYWRzLmd1aW0uY28udWsvMjAxNi8wNS8yNS9vdmVybGF5LWxvZ28tMTIwMC05MF9vcHQucG5n&s=f72bc58e7c33ebe2afa7251ba5271cf6)
> -------------------------------------------------------------------------- <
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandst...474966&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2
My boyfriend is wonderful and loving – but he has a tiny penis | Life and style | The Guardian
![[圖]]()
We have penetrative sex, but it is so small that I feel nothing and I fear that, if he’s to be my life partner, I may never again enjoy sex in quite t ...
![[圖]](https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/f661c13a5374fc381caf94eb70efb621afd2ffe2/0_0_2560_1536/master/2560.jpg?w=1200&h=630&q=55&auto=format&usm=12&fit=crop&crop=faces%2Centropy&bm=normal&ba=bottom%2Cleft&blend64=aHR0cHM6Ly91cGxvYWRzLmd1aW0uY28udWsvMjAxNi8wNS8yNS9vdmVybGF5LWxvZ28tMTIwMC05MF9vcHQucG5n&s=cc38aa5ba502383a9d6014f1c9c75817)
My boyfriend is wonderful and loving – but he has a tiny penis
We have penetrative sex, but it is so small that I feel nothing and I fear that, if he’s to be my life partner, I may never again enjoy sex in quite the same way
True intimacy is partly defined by the ability of each person to see and accept the ‘failings’ of the other. Photograph: Guardian Design Team
Monday 1 May 2017 08.00 BST
Last modified on Monday 1 May 2017 16.58 BST
After a series of unsuitable boyfriends, I have met a wonderful loving man. However, he has an extremely small penis. He can get an erection and we are able to have penetrative sex, but I often feel little to nothing, although he is a sensitive lover in other ways. I am full of regret that, if this is to be my life partner, I might never be able to enjoy penetrative sex in quite the same way again.
Regarding relationships, what exactly is your goal? Is it to find the perfect person, or the perfect penis? Would you accept my word for the fact that neither exists? Your search for complete and utter satisfaction on every scale is likely to lead to disappointment, dissatisfaction and regret. True intimacy and wonderfully loving human connections are partly defined by the ability of each person to see and accept the “failings” of the other, and to accept and share one’s own shortcomings. You are at an early stage in this new relationship, but rejecting an otherwise “wonderful” man on the basis of his penis size may be very unwise, especially since he is a fulfilling lover in nonpenetrative ways. Most nerve endings that help trigger pleasure and orgasm are in a woman’s clitoris, not the vagina. And over time, needs and bodies change, and desire waxes and wanes. When judging a partner’s ability to be satisfying in the long run, the only reliable benchmark is his willingness to learn to please you.
#小老二 #點閱率排行 #性生活不美滿 #真正的親密關係 #肉體滿足
> -------------------------------------------------------------------------- <
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...474966&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...474966&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2
I don’t want to have sex with my husband any more
A reader who married as a virgin finds sex burdensome, but doesn’t want to divorce. Mariella Frostrup says she needs to take control of her physical needs to reignite the passion
#處女 #性愛變成負擔 #穆斯林 #重男輕女
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2017-05-02 14:35:29
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2017-05-02 14:37:28
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2017-05-02 14:38:15
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2017-05-02 14:39:10
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2017-05-02 14:39:15
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...474966&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2
A letter to … my husband, who simply stopped loving me
The letter you always wanted to write
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2017-05-27 22:12:11
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...474966&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2
How to stay married. (Don't get divorced)
Ada Calhoun has written a witty, cautionary and hard-headed reflection on marriage. She talks about why the couples who endure are not always the most compatible – or the best behaved
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2017-06-18 16:31:13
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...474966&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2
My husband refuses to drive our car and it’s driving me crazy
A woman is frustrated at being the only one to deal with the household car. Mariella says her anger might be down to their general division of labour
#開車 #家庭分工
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2017-06-25 20:56:43
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2017-07-03 01:16:59
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2017-07-03 16:00:36
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2017-07-03 16:00:53
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...474966&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2
My life in sex: the 22-year-old dater
There is one guy I have been having sex with for about a year and a half. He is not my boyfriend, but he is my friend
#朋友 #不是男友 #砲友 #床伴
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2017-07-17 01:42:04
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...474966&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2
A new way to love: in praise of polyamory | Relationships | The Observer
Polyamory isn’t monogamy and it isn’t swinging, it’s being open to having loving relationships with different people of different sexes at the same time, and in that way learning to love yourself, too
#多妻 #多夫 #多重配偶
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2017-07-24 01:05:44
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...474966&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2
I don’t want to leave my husband but I feel suffocated and am having an affair
My relationship with my husband feels more like one between mother and son than between equals. Annalisa Barbieri advises a reader
#夫妻 #婚外情 #不想離婚
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2017-08-06 02:09:39
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...474966&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2
My life in sex: 'It would be a dream come true to rekindle the old feelings'
The 32-year-old unhappy wife
#不滿足人妻
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2017-09-29 14:09:19
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...474966&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2
My husband has lost interest in sex – and blames the dogs
A reader with a high sex drive wonders if her husband’s reasons not to have sex are just excuses
#怪東怪西怪養狗 #夫妻性生活 #找藉口找理由
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2017-09-29 14:39:32
[－]
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...474966&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2
‘Discovering my true sexual self’: why I embraced polyamory
My husband and I were together for 12 years and had two children – but while he was happy with one person, I needed more
#一妻多夫 #多伴侶
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2018-01-22 20:27:13
我朋友的先生送我花 還要我別跟他老婆說（本日點閱率第二名）
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...474966&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2
Don’t make too much of it unless he makes a further move on you. Mariella Frostrup advises a woman who questioning a husband’s attention
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2018-01-28 23:29:45
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...474966&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2
Will my girlfriend stop loving me if I earn less than her?
It’s certainly a possibility your girlfriend will think less of you, but that’s no reason to reconsider your life’s plans, says Mariella Frostrup. Now’s the time for a frank discussion
#賺錢比我賺得多就會不愛我了？
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...ancer-survivor-vaginal-dilator
My life in sex: ‘It’s a thrice-weekly session with a dilator’
The cervical cancer survivor
#子宮頸癌病患 #匿名投稿
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2018-02-15 04:08:46
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...474966&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2
I’ve been replaced by another woman and the pain is killing me
A young woman who thought she had everything mapped out perfectly is suddenly on her own – and the jealousy is unbearable. Mariella Frostrup says it’s hard but it’s time to look to the future
#被另一個女人給取代 #學生時代戀人 #愛情長跑
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2018-03-06 22:59:06
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...474966&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2
My girlfriend masturbates after we have sex. Why?
I often wondered why my partner insisted I go in the shower before her, and now I know. Is she insatiable?
#做愛後還自慰 #發情模式 #高潮 #不滿足
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2018-03-08 19:46:52
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...474966&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2
My life in sex: the man who always gives an orgasm
Getting a woman to climax: it’s not rocket science
#總是讓我高潮的男人 #火箭科學 #匿名投稿
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2018-03-12 23:25:15, 23:26:30
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...474966&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2
I’m in love with a man who won’t leave his long-term girlfriend
You are nothing more to him than a pleasant diversion from his problems, Mariella tells a woman who doesn’t want to give up an affair. Move on
#愛上了不會離開長年女友的男人
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2018-03-13 01:05:55
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...474966&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2
I’m trying to leave my boyfriend but my mother says it’s ‘hysteria’
Stop being so indecisive, says Mariella. Sparing someone’s feelings is never a good reason to stay in a relationship
#母親阻止女兒離開男友 #分手
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2018-03-21 03:30:01
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...474966&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2
I can’t stop being nasty to my fantastic boyfriend
Maybe your anger towards him is because you’re incompatible, says Mariella. But be gentler on yourself
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...474966&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2
I had an affair with my friend’s husband, but he’s now betrayed me
You deceived a buddy and made a poor choice of lover – it’s time to confront the choices you have made
你欺騙了死黨並做了個爛決定，該是時候面對自己造的果了。
#與朋友/閨密?的丈夫有一腿，但男方背叛了事主 #沒愛的婚姻
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...474966&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2
My boyfriend has difficulty climaxing. Is it because he masturbates too much?
He says he used to masturbate very regularly and believes he has become desensitised. The situation is taking its toll on him and I would dearly like to do something to help
#高潮有困難 #手槍打太多？ #sex
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2018-04-05 23:19:26
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...474966&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2
My new partner and I have very different sleeping habits
As we get older, compatibility is about more than good sex and emotional support. But turn to some insomnia cures before you give up
#睡眠習慣不一樣 #新伴 #情緒 #好性愛
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...474966&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2
A letter to... my husband’s girlfriend
You believe he is a heroic single dad, juggling childcare around his high-flying career: the letter you always wanted to write
#給我丈夫的女友
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...474966&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2
My older partner nags me to be organised, but I’m just forgetful
Step up to your responsibilities and stop conjuring excuses, advises Mariella Frostrup, to a young woman who won’t stand up for herself
#健忘 #整合與組織能力 #抱怨 #負責 #藉口
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...474966&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2
Why do I wish my perfect partner didn’t dote on me so much?
Only stay in the relationship if you’re enjoying it – and don’t overthink it, Mariella Frostrup tells a woman wondering whether her kind and loving boyfriend is a bad choice
#完美伴侶 #溺愛 #寵愛
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2018-05-05 16:49:58, 17:17:17, 17:17:35
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...474966&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2
Is it weird to write to say sorry to my ex three years on?
Do it! Says Mariella. Keep it simple, keep it brief, write it from the heart
#道歉不嫌晚
> http://disp.cc/b/261-arAo
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2018-05-24 02:43:53
> -------------------------------------------------------------------------- <
> https://www.plurk.com/p/msisin
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...-ask-my-date-if-i-can-kiss-her
Dating after #MeToo: should I ask my date if I can kiss her?
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...474966&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2
Dating after #MeToo: he secretly took off his condom during sex – it's a thing
Our relationship expert Jean Hannah Edelstein is here to answer all your questions about romance in this post-#MeToo world
#偷拔保險套
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...474966&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2
Has Britain’s attitude to sex and consent begun to change?
Last week Sweden passed a law making sex without mutual agreement rape. But in Britain, attempts to educate men about the issue have met resistance
#瑞典 #合意性交
> -------------------------------------------------------------------------- <
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...474966&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2
My father’s terrible behaviour means I can’t be intimate with men
Cold hard rage might be the way to propel you from victimhood to a braver future, says Mariella Frostrup
- - - -
I’m in my late 30s, single, no children and I’ve never been in a long-term relationship. I have dated a bit over the years and I’ve tried online dating, but that has never led to anything meaningful. I do have sex sometimes, or spend some time with a man, often it’s even nice, but I can never be relaxed or be myself with men. I am the eldest of three and my parents used to have serious relationship problems. Over several years my dad regularly and loudly threatened to kill himself if my mum left him, he had extreme mood swings, and during these episodes he often confided in me about their sex life. Through sessions with a psychologist, I have come to the realisation that a part of me is still in that room with my dad, being forced to listen to his crying and extremely intimate stories, too shocked to say anything, and those experiences have left me scared of being fully intimate with men, even now. I am trying to figure out what I can do to move on and take better care of my slightly wounded self.
#父親 #家暴陰影 #精神暴力 #自殘 #自戕
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2018-05-18 14:27:12, 17:08:12, 17:20:19
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...474966&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2
My husband recently killed himself and I can’t face being on my own
Allow those around you to help you back on your feet and be kind to yourself until you’re ready to move forward, says Mariella Frostrup
#寡婦 #丈夫自殺
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2018-05-22 20:17:00
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2018-05-23 01:23:42
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2018-05-24 02:43:53, 02:45:10
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2018-05-25 01:48:06, 01:48:43
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2018-05-26 01:03:34
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...474966&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2
My boyfriend wants me to see other people for romance and sex
You clearly want more from the partnership than your boyfriend is prepared to offer, says Mariella Frostrup. The painful truth is he’s not available to you in the way you want
#綠帽控？
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2018-05-29 02:08:42, 02:10:19
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2018-06-01 17:18:38
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...474966&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2
A letter to… my gas-lighting ex
‘It is a horrible feeling to be torn between believing your partner and your own perceptions’: the letter you always wanted to write
#匿名 #外遇 #劈腿 #誠實以待
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2018-06-15 22:49:10
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...474966&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2
If it wasn’t for our kids, my husband and I wouldn’t be married
If you want me to tell you to leave, you’ve written to the wrong agony aunt, says Mariella Frostrup
#奉子成婚 #興趣不同 #話不投機 #個性不合 #為了孩子不離婚
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2018-06-21 22:26:12
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...474966&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2
A letter to… my friend with benefits
‘We would regularly congratulate ourselves on avoiding the complications of relationships. But I do love you’: the letter you’ve always wanted to write
#砲友 #炮友
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...474966&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2
My girlfriend wants me to spank her. Should I feel guilty?
Mariella says, don’t worry about it. You’d be surprised how many people find slapping, biting and other mild forms of masochism a stimulant to their carnal pleasure
#SP
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2018-07-04 00:44:44, 01:46:08
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...474966&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2
My partner didn't want children. I did. Then I got pregnant...
We’re both writers and he didn’t want the distraction of kids. Could our relationship survive?
#伴侶不想要小孩但我卻懷孕了
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2018-07-15 01:21:36
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...474966&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2
I have an abusive ex. How can I get him out of my friendship circle?
Maybe it’s time to truly erase him from your life, says Mariella Frostrup. Or at least don’t allow him to impinge on you when he happens to be around
The dilemma:
I dated my sister’s husband’s best friend 12 years ago. At the end of our relationship, he became physically, verbally and emotionally abusive. He has refused to speak to my sister and her husband for years at a time because they are friends with me, but on the two occasions I moved to a different city, he found a way back into their lives and they allowed it. I reached out to him to try and coexist in the same friend group. He refused and has made every joint social situation awkward and painful for me and my fiancé. We have lost invites because he refuses to be in the same place as us and he has ruined other events due to his immature antics. My sister and her husband believe I am the problem because this guy is still mad at me for breaking up with him 12 years ago. I want a relationship with my sister and her husband but I’m frustrated at their victim blaming, disregard of my feelings (which I have expressed to them tirelessly), and the continued excusing of his abusive behaviour 12 years ago.
#前男友 #暴力傾向 #家暴 #精神暴力 #姊夫妹夫的死黨
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2018-08-06 18:37:27
This is what being in love looks like – in pictures | Life and style | The Guardian
![[圖]]()
Photojournalist and videographer Stefania Rousselle asked strangers to share their most defining and life-changing love stories ...
![[圖]](https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/757c6676512c8dee9e0c4a726df6a60d2cf99d44/0_75_2384_1430/master/2384.jpg?w=1200&h=630&q=55&auto=format&usm=12&fit=crop&crop=faces%2Centropy&bm=normal&ba=bottom%2Cleft&blend64=aHR0cHM6Ly9hc3NldHMuZ3VpbS5jby51ay9pbWFnZXMvb3ZlcmxheXMvZDM1ODZhNWVmNTc4MTc1NmQyMWEzYjYzNWU1MTcxNDEvdGctZGVmYXVsdC5wbmc&s=0b378f3840681aacab7e0bd8f22dc691)
#戀愛的樣子長什麼樣？ #人像攝影作品
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2018-08-11 11:58:26
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...474966&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2
Should I stay with my partner in our safe but loveless relationship?
The fallout from an affair is still being felt and it’s not healthy just to wait around anticipating being separated, says Mariella Frostrup. Is it time to move on?
#無愛情的關係
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2018-08-13 23:55:44
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...19474966&CMP=GT_collection
A letter to… my mid-life lover
‘I knew right away that we’d hit it off: we talked nonstop and I felt at ease. You had also been widowed’: the letter you always wanted to write
#匿名信件 #中年愛人
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2018-08-19 10:29:19
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...19474966&CMP=GT_collection
My heartbroken friend is partying hard but I’ve had enough
Tell her that the nights out have lost their shine and that she will too, says Mariella Frostrup. Plus you have to think about your own marriage
#傷心的朋友正在狂歡，我受夠了。 #借酒澆愁 #你也要顧好自己的家庭婚姻
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2018-08-20 08:34:30
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...19474966&CMP=GT_collection
I admitted feelings for a friend. Why is he deleting my emails?
We both know you are lingering when you should have moved on, Mariella Frostrup tells a woman who says she is still sending flirty emails to a man who says he has no romantic feelings for her.
#曖昧 #刪信件
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2018-08-27 17:02:15
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...19474966&CMP=GT_collection
My boyfriend called me a slut – now I dread seeing him
Whichever way you look at it, this is offensive, Mariella Frostrup tells a 20-year-old whose first boyfriend described her as his ‘slutty little girl’
#侮辱 #汙辱 #言語暴力
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2018-09-02 22:43:57
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...19474966&CMP=GT_collection
'What were her knickers like?': the truth about trying an open relationship
Non-monogamy seems to be having a moment. Would it work for us?
#開放式關係 #非單一伴侶 #非一夫一妻制 #多重伴侶
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2018-09-08 13:00:59
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...19474966&CMP=GT_collection
I’ve worked hard at my studies, but only to escape loneliness
Your fears are universal, Mariella Frostrup tells a reclusive medical student. Now apply the rigour with which you’ve approached your studies to finding kindred spirits
#用課業遠離孤單 #孤獨 #一個人
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2018-09-09 13:00:59
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2018-09-11 01:27:47, 04:04:22
> > https://www.plurk.com/p/l09q6i#!
> https://www.plurk.com/p/mlji8f
> https://www.plurk.com/p/mnxoad
我跟我朋友都單身又沒小孩 ──而且我們快沒時間了
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...19474966&CMP=GT_collection
My friends and I are single, childless – and running out of time
The fight for gender equality goes on – so focus on shaping the world you want, Mariella Frostrup tells a woman whose biological clock is ticking
The dilemma:
Like me, most of my friends are in their 30s, some turning 40. Those with partners and children have disappeared, other than posting their idyllic family life.
We’ve tried all of the dating things, found no one and biological clocks are ticking. One friend said her life is not worth living because she hasn’t got a partner or a child. In the past I’d give advice and encouragement – suggest things might turn out all right in the end. There’s still time!
But now there’s actually not time. I can’t encourage, because life isn’t going how we thought it would. We’re being left behind and without the financial ability (or housing) to freeze eggs or go it alone, or adopt.
I get harassed by some friends, almost bullying me into going on dating apps because it worked for them. But I hated it – men were rude, unkind and I felt physically threatened. I found myself despising all men.
The idea that single people in their 30s are all having fun is a lie. We are the have-nots and we are sad. What now?
#適婚年齡 #高齡產婦 #精子品質 #聚焦在你想要的事情 #不要歪了目標 #發文曬幸福 #有了伴就搞失蹤消失了 #性別平權 #歧視單身 #長輩騷擾 #霸凌 #有毒男子氣概 #約會網站 #財務能力與單身 #財務壓力 #買房壓力 #婚姻
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2018-09-17 15:21:29
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2018-09-18 16:23:38
https://www.theguardian.com/culture/2018/sep/24/never-learned-to-masturbate-sexual-healing
I have never learned to masturbate – and never experienced pleasure, even when intimate | Sexual healing
I am a 21-year-old woman and have a boyfriend who I love dearly, but I never get aroused with him
#從未自慰 #性愛中沒有過高潮
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2018-09-27 01:59:46
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...dianTodayUK&CMP=GTUK_email
A strong libido and bored by monogamy: the truth about women and sex
When a heterosexual couple marries, who’s likely to get bored of sex first? The answer might surprise you…
#禁忌 #單一伴侶制 #一夫一妻制 #女人與性愛的真相 #異性戀伴侶 #無聊厭倦 #要刺激
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2018-10-15 23:32:10
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...dianTodayUK&CMP=GTUK_email
I’m happily married but can’t get someone I met out of my head
The shudder of sexual electricity can be celebrated without being consummated, says Mariella Frostrup
#已婚 #看著碗裡望著盤裡 #已婚 #念念難忘的對象
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2018-11-04 14:00:59
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...dianTodayUK&CMP=GTUK_email
What I've learned about men from countless hours of Tinder
Comedian Lane Moore has crafted an entire show out of swiping left, and right, on the app over the last four years. Here are her biggest takeaways
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2018-11-07 19:00:59
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...dianTodayUK&CMP=GTUK_email
My partner will make a perfect wife – except she doesn’t want kids
Why do you feel the need to rush into marriage when you’re not sure either, wonders Mariella Frostrup
#完美老婆但不想生小孩 #不確定為何要急著結婚
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2018-11-11 14:00:00
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2018-11-13 20:14:32
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2018-11-15 07:00:18, 18:34:10
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...dianTodayUK&CMP=GTUK_email
I feel inadequate around my girlfriend’s wealthy, high-achieving family
Your problem is your own self-worth, not the privileged family you are considering marrying into, says Mariella Frostrup
#大男人 #女友高成就又有錢
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2018-12-03 17:58:45
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...dianTodayUK&CMP=GTUK_email
My boyfriend and I are well matched, but I just don’t fancy him
He doesn’t seem to be offering you much, so don’t just ‘make do’, says Mariella Frostrup
我跟男友很速配很登對 但我對他沒興趣了
#給予得太少
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2018-12-30 17:25:28
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...dianTodayUK&CMP=GTUK_email
My husband left me and our kids and is now with another woman
A new relationship will long outlive – and swiftly obscure – the heartache you’ve been through, says Mariella Frostrup
#拋家棄子 #外遇 #偷吃 #斷捨離 #不要強迫自己進入音的一段親密關係
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2019-01-28 04:47:17
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...dianTodayUK&CMP=GTUK_email
I was dropped by new friends and dread not seeing them again
You may have tampered with the balance of power with this couple, says Mariella Frostrup. Is there something you are not divulging?
#新朋友 #平衡 #不想講出的秘密？ #無法開口？ #說不出來的秘密？ #不能說的秘密？
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2019-02-11 02:49:31, 02:49:49
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...dianTodayUK&CMP=GTUK_email
My wife and I don’t have sex, and I have secretly been buying women’s clothes
Until you test the boundaries of your desires, you’ll be perpetually dissatisfied, says Mariella Frostrup
#男扮女裝 #無性夫妻 #異裝 #另住老闆公寓 #分隔兩地 #關掉社群網站 #憂鬱症
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2019-03-25 12:48:43
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...dianTodayUK&CMP=GTUK_email
My partner is better looking than I am and I worry he’ll leave me
Men never worry when it’s the other way round, says Mariella Frostrup. So celebrate your good fortune
#男伴比我好看，我怕他會離開我 #美醜 #視覺 #審美
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2019-04-02 00:29:41
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...dianTodayUK&CMP=GTUK_email
My husband’s boasts are worse since Brexit – and I can’t stand it
As with any long union, there’s no such thing as a clean break, Mariella Frostrup tells a woman whose 30-year relationship is foundering over politics
The dilemma:
My partner of 30 years comes from a privileged family and has a sense of entitlement, which can occasionally make him seem superior. Or maybe that’s just my perception. It’s something I find hard, mainly because I don’t like that type of behaviour and find it embarrassing, but most of the time I try to ignore it. Since the referendum (my partner is a huge Remain supporter) he and his sisters (also Remain and wealthy elite) have made efforts to pursue Irish passports, which they are entitled to on one grandparent’s side. My partner has never been there. He seems proud or boastful about his potential Irish passport, which seems to be another way to be superior and pleased with himself. I’m finding it all very annoying. I don’t know why it’s so infuriating, but there’s something very self-satisfied about it and it gets to me. Their behaviour makes me feel small and I am not confident about getting my point across, especially when I am not sure what my point is! Am I being ridiculous?
#丈夫 #英國脫歐小宇宙 #microcosm #政治 #吹噓 #權貴家庭出生 #既得利益者 #自吹自擂 #留歐派 #有錢菁英 #愛爾蘭護照 #自滿 #自視甚高
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2019-04-10 04:34:35, 04:37:20
> https://www.plurk.com/p/mcy48u
我們不是同性戀 但我們私下親親還共枕
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...dianTodayUK&CMP=GTUK_email
We are not gay, but we secretly kiss and sleep in the same bed
You don’t need to define your sexuality, Mariella Frostrup tells a confused man, but you do need to stop second-guessing your lover’s motives and start working out what you want
The dilemma:
I am a 30-year-old man and I had, until last year, identified as a straight man. One night, after an office dinner party, I went to my colleague’s flat. We were good mates then, but nothing more. We are both architects and I went to see some of his latest work. He offered me a drink and we ended up getting drunk. He is slightly older and also identifies as heterosexual. (He is really good looking but, mysteriously, has been single for many years.) We drank too much and kissed. We were embarrassed, but for the past year we have regularly met and kissed, but he doesn’t go beyond a certain point physically. I know I love him dearly. He loves me, too, he says, but as a brother/best friend, not as a partner. Recently, he has stopped kissing me on the lips, but we sleep in the same bed and cuddle. I am confused. Is he straight, is he gay/bisexual and, more importantly, should I have any hope of finding romantic love with him? It’s frustrating and confusing. I don’t want to beg him to do more if he doesn’t feel comfortable and at the same time it would hurt to walk away from this man (and hurt my career if I left my job).
#無須定義性向 #性傾向 #LGBT同志 #同性戀 #雙性戀 #異性戀 #單身 #基情 #兄弟情 #柏拉圖式戀愛
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2019-04-28 13:00:59
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2019-04-30 05:08:47
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...dianTodayUK&CMP=GTUK_email
The way I masturbate means I don’t enjoy sex. How will I ever find a partner? | Sexual healing
Because I masturbate while prone, coitus is not pleasurable. I worry that I will never like it, which is making me depressed
> I am a 25-year-old woman who has always masturbated in the prone position. Sex with another person, even oral sex, brings me no pleasure. When I had a boyfriend, I pretended to enjoy sex, fearing he would leave me if I was honest. We broke up for other reasons, but now I am single and petrified of never finding another partner or enjoying sex. It is making me depressed.
Every person’s sexual journey is one of trial, error and experimentation. Learning to have satisfying sex with a partner takes time. Try not to catastrophise. You are far from the only person who has developed a masturbation style that does not easily segue to sex with a partner. The good news is that you understand your sexual-response triggers and style. If you can share your needs with a partner (which is the essence of satisfying sex), there are many ways to bridge this.
Try to find someone to whom you are greatly attracted, and whom you can trust to be open and compliant when you make requests. Then you must be brave enough to ask for and try positions and styles of lovemaking that could be stimulating for you, beginning with what most closely approximates your preferred position. Try adopting your favourite self-pleasuring position, then guide your partner to adopt a complementary position and guide their hand to caress you correctly. Once you can achieve orgasm like this, experiment to gradually extend your range of stimulating positions. It is important to encourage your partner to give you an orgasm before attempting coitus; gentle, seductive instruction will be appreciated.
#自慰的方式 #不滿足 #憂鬱 #鬱卒 #口交 #假裝享受性愛 #怕對方拋棄自己
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2019-05-27 23:17:33
Moved from: disp.cc/b/261-dsOT
> https://www.theguardian.com/stage/2018/aug/13/best-naked-shows-edinburgh-fringe?CMP=fb_gu #愛丁堡節 #全裸表演
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...17161976_3457063358327685789_n
My summer of love: ‘One-night stands are often regrettable. This one was the perfect gift’
Our night in the shadow of Arthur’s Seat in Edinburgh was hot, satisfying and as cheery as you could ever hope for
#夏日一夜情 #蘇格蘭 #愛丁堡 #亞瑟王座 #蕾絲邊 #女同志
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2021-07-08 10:40:44 (台灣)
Moved from: disp.cc/b/261-9Yk2
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...70507285_2639039319996158207_n
My summer of love: ‘I took a date to Black Pride – and realised I loved him’
He was able to exist so easily in my world that it helped me feel happier there too
#夏日之愛
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2021-07-08 16:28:15 (台灣)
Moved from: disp.cc/b/261-dsOT
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...91565648_8915914343531772640_n
I am living with my ex. Should we have some physical distance between us?
You can’t move frictionlessly from being in a relationship to being close friends, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith. Something needs to change
https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/ce2303...eacd45e037c1fd5e0ef99421dc36c2
![[圖]](https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/ce23032f29667da8eced18088c15ff7002af9637/48_1121_2552_2041/master/2552.jpg?width=445&quality=45&auto=format&fit=max&dpr=2&s=b2eacd45e037c1fd5e0ef99421dc36c2)
I’m living with my ex-partner after mutually deciding to break up a few weeks ago. We rent a two-bed house and have a cat. The issue is my ex wants to stay in this living situation for the next few months and has no urgency to find alternative accommodation. I feel the urgency but don’t know what to do and whether to move back with my parents or stick it out.
I feel this is very unhealthy and the ritualistic habits developed over time are still happening … dinner, sleeping in the same bed, cleaning duties, shopping. Am I unrealistic in thinking that we should have some physical distance between us, or is this normal? I’m not sure what to do. It may sound selfish but I don’t want to be the one with all the upheaval, especially as I have worked so hard to make this house a home.
#跟前任還在同居狀態我想搬出去但是對方不緩不急 #前男友 #前女友 #日本浮世繪 #偷偷搔癢 #讀者來信
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2021-07-09 16:59:39 (台灣)
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeands...m-worried-it-will-happen-again
I haven’t cheated on my partner for over a year. As things open up, I’m worried it will happen again
If you want to stop cheating you need to figure out why you do it, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith, and that will take time, effort and help
One huge bonus of a year of lockdown and social distancing is that, for the first time in my relationship, I haven’t cheated on my partner for over a year. Women find me attractive and often flirt with me but I’ve never accepted an invitation to start an affair. Having been cheated on in the past I’m painfully aware of how the lies and deceit of an affair can make the betrayed person feel like they are going crazy, and the massive hurt that is caused when a long term affair is discovered.
Instead, when I get drunk at a party or night out, I start responding to these flirtatious behaviours and end up going home with a stranger, colleague or associate. It’s always a one-night stand and even if the other person wants it to continue I never do. Afterwards I feel terrible, give up drinking for a while and try strategies to prevent it happening again (eg mention my wife within one minute of conversation, don’t drink at festivals, impose a curfew on myself etc).
What’s so stupid is that I love my partner immensely; she’s a perfect companion, great sense of humour, intelligent, very beautiful, we have a satisfying sex life and I know if she found out I would lose it all. But during the eight years we’ve been together (excluding last year), I have these one-night stands three to four times a year and I’m worried that now things have opened up it will happen again.
How can I prevent this pattern of cheating from happening again? Never drink again? Avoid the types of events where people hook up? Are there some psychological strategies I can employ to train myself to automatically deflect flirtatious behaviour?
#很久沒偷情偷腥了怕又犯 #慣性出軌 #一夜情 #讀者來信
#武漢肺炎疫情相關
※ 編輯: Ctea 時間: 2021-07-09 17:04:42 (台灣)
※ 同主題文章:
03-15 21:20
… ×525
04-01 23:22
[報章] 衛報兩性版 #情侶相處 #伴侶配偶 #夫妻關係 #婚姻 #男女 #生活版 #家庭版
04-01 23:24
04-03 02:28
04-04 03:47
… ×1958
Ctea: [報章] 衛報兩性版 #情侶相處 #伴侶配偶 #夫妻關係 #婚姻 #男女 #生活版 #家庭版 - CityNight板